The Five Variable Love Test

Your Five Variable Love Profile

Propensity for Monogamy: Your propensity for monogamy is medium. In general, you prefer to have only one love interest. But it's hard for you to stay devoted for too long! There's too much eye candy to keep you from wandering. Experience Level: Your experience level is high. You've loved, lost, and loved again. You have had a wide range of love experiences. And when the real thing comes along, you know it! Dominance: Your dominance is medium. You tend to be the one with more power. You aren't a total control freak in relationships.. But of course you don't mind getting your way! Cynicism: Your cynicism is low. You are an eternal optimist when it comes to love and romance. No matter how many times you've been hurt - you're never bitter. You believe in one true love, your perfect soulmate. And if you haven't found true love yet, you know you will soon. Independence: Your independence is low. This doesn't mean you're dependent in relationships.. It does mean that you don't have any problem sharing your life. In your opinion, the best part of being in love is being together.

The Five Variable Love Test

The Thirst Quencher

Thirst quencher..
Rehydrate.
Replenish
Refuel.

When you’re thirsty.. this is what you do. You quench your thirst.
We replace the sweat we lose.
The contents of what was lost.
When we’re tired, we do something to regain our energy.
Quenching – makes you happy.. satisfied..

Seems easy..
Quenching your thirst.

I went to SSS awhile ago to get an ID (I know.. very irresponsible of me not to have it still.. but hey! How should I know?). While waiting for my brother, I saw a lady holding a c2 (apple). It’s been a long day and I really felt tired. A nice cold drink would be really nice I thought. But for some reason, I didn’t get any. I just stood there. I saw the girl holding the bottle.. drinking. A pang of envy turned inside me. I can buy one if I wanted to. But I didn’t.. I just didn’t.

Sometimes, when we are in awful pain, we tend to ignore the feeling until it all piles up into one huge bulk of ache. Bitterness swarms all over you and you feel like there’s nothing you can do to repair the damage that has been done. We know there’s a way to take the pain away. We know how. We know what to do. But we just choose not to. Simply, decide on tolerating everything.

When we lose something, it should be replaced.
When we feel weak, we should regain strength.
When we stumble, we should stand up.
When something’s wrong, we should act on it.
We don’t linger on the pain. We move on.

Or else.. you’ll be stuck in this miserable mess with nothing but bitterness.

I went home. Slept for about three hours, then had dinner. At around 8pm, I had the impulse of updating my blog (it’s been quite a while since I did my last post). As I turned the computer on, I realized that the internet connection has already expired. Luckily, there’s a 7-11 nearby. So I asked mama and manang lisa to come with me. We walked going to Xavier Heights and bought an internet card. We were all exhausted by the time we got to the store. I was about to pay at the cashier when I suddenly saw bottles of drinks all lined up nicely inside the refrigerator. Quickly, I got one Gatorade for myself, two milk teas for ma and manang lisa (kind of a “bribe” for coming with me), nestea and c2 for kuya rich and manang tessie, and nothing for my papsy dear since he doesn’t drink stuff like these (he has his own stock of milk at home). As we were on our way, I opened my Gatorade, took a big gulp.. and enjoyed the moment.. God it felt soo good..

Empty Room

I'll be seeing you in all the old familiar places

that this heart of mine embraces all day through

In that small cafe the park across the way

the children's carousel the chestnut tree the wishing well

I'll be seeing you in every lovely summers day

in every thing that's light and gay

I'll always think of you that way

I'll find you in the morning sun and when the night is new

I'll be looking at the moon oh but I'll be seeing you..

(I'll be seeing you - Isha)

To my dear friend.. thanks so much for the lovely memories..

The wonderful moments we've shared..

For the delicious ensaymadas every 3 pm..

For the special treats every now and then..

The cute teddy you gave me..

Our endless chats before the day ends..

The chocolate cake..

The box of muffins..

The most memorable dance..

The heart-warming letter that I'll forever keep..

For the BIG HELP..

Thank you.. so so much..

You'll always be here.. Unforgotten..

The Tower

The one who survives by making the lives

Of others worthwhile She's coming apart

Right before my eyes The one who depends on the services she renders

To those who come knocking She's seeing too clearly what she can't be

What understanding defies

She says I need not to need Or else a love with intuition

Someone who reaches out to my weakness and won't let go

I need not to need I've always been the tower

But now I feel like I'm the flower trying to bloom in snow

She turns out the light anticipating night falling Tenderly around her

And watches the dusk The words won't come

She carries the act so convincingly the fact is

Sometimes she believes it

That she can be happy the way things are Be happy with the things she's done

Reach out But hold back Where is safety

Reach out And hold back Where is the one who can save me

Where is the one

I feel like I'm the flower trying to bloom in snow

The danger and the power The friend and the foe

(Vienna Teng)

This has yet been the rainiest season I've ever experienced.. What with the floods all over the city, dark clouds and cold nights. I hate it. Too sad.. too lonely. I can't take it anymore. I'm starting to get impatient. But I know that the storm will soon be gone and over. Until then, Í'll just have to keep on waiting..

Thursday Thirteen

Thirteen Things about Cara De Risa 1. I sleep beside my dad ever since i was a kid (and I'm turning 23 already). 2. I love ordering garlic & cheese thin crust pizza even if I always remove the garlic bits on it. 3. I'm fond of watching The Nanny regardless of how many times I've seen an episode. 4. I had a big crush on Rustom Padilla and Erick Quizon when I was younger (I know, and I'd like to think that it was just an odd coincidence). 5. I stopped getting old the moment I turned 20. 6. I have always dreamed of becoming an internationally acclaimed big-time mahjongg player (with an image of myself in a mafia-like way). 7. I hate eating vegetables. 8. I love fresh cherries. 9. I was a big fan of the sitcom "Ok ka fairy ko" (Philippine version of "Bewitched"). 10. I've always wanted to look like Alice Dixon (Filipina actress/model). 11. Given the chance to choose between food or sleep.. I'd definitely go for the latter! 12. I'm a daddy's girl (which I think most people think, for obvious reasons..), but I'm much closer and more open with my mom (don't ask - even I find it weird). 13. I always hum (unconciously).. Even with other people around. Links to other Thursday Thirteens! 1. (leave your link in comments, I’ll add you here!)

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!


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Busy Day

My usual day at work

Today has been a very busy day for me.. Last night my cousin and I went to Ortigas for dinner.. We listened to a live band and had a few drinks (mud slide - concoction of Bailey’s and a few more stuff.. yum2!).. I got home a bit late so when I woke up the next morning, I still feel sleepy and tired.. I haven’t had enough sleep since Sunday so I was thinking of taking a day off from work. Then I remembered.. I can’t do that since there is a schedule of exam (I work as a psychometrician in the company I’m connected with). So I forced myself to wake up, took a quick bath, and head off to my office.

I arrived earlier than usual.. prepared the things I need for the exam, and went straight to the examination room. I was expecting more or less 40 examinees for today. To my astonishment, I saw a room brimming with applicants! There were 74 of them!! I didn’t quite expect them to be that many.. most of them came from Urdaneta and Bicol.. The exam started at around 8:30 am, and ended at around 1:15pm. I haven’t had anything except for a cup of coffee.. I didn’t have time to eat breakfast and lunch. I have no trainees to assist me so I had to carry a bunch load of test materials going to 11th floor and back (gosh.. I hope I don’t get varicose veins from this!).. By the time I finished I realized that I had an aching feet .. my hair was a big mess.. and I was starving to death! As I got to my table, one of my officemates told me that I have a package waiting at the lobby.. It was a box filled with rambutans (native fruit from Laguna). I distributed them to my officemates first before interviewing the applicants who passed the first part of the test.

It was already 3 pm when I took my lunch.. my very first meal for the day. I had baked mac with pesto bread and c2 (peach flavor). I returned to my table at around 4 pm. Before I knew it, I was already doing my usual work.

It has been a very exhausting day for me. I feel tired and completely worn-out. But despite all the complaining and whining.. I’m still ok. I give my best smile.. Thankful for another day. Tomorrow is about to come.. and I know that a new hope lies ahead..

Wish List

"We can love someone and just be happy about it even if we know that it cannot last forever. It's not about having someone. It is not about owning a relationship, it is just about being happy because you know you have loved someone. There is a purpose and meaning behind all events and this purpose and meanings develop you as a person and a lover. Whatever relationship you have in your life now, they are precisely the ones you need at this moment..."

(Anonymous)

When I was a kid I always make a list of the things I want.. From Barbie dolls and Polly Pockets during my childhood – to pagers, cell phones, and a brand new Picanto as I got older. Once I obtain one of the items on my list, I put a check on it and somehow, try to write something nicer and harder to get. The list went on and on.. Soon after, I noticed how my wish list never seemed to end. It never got any shorter.. Instead, it just got longer and longer each time I look at it. Everytime I see a check mark on that piece of paper, I feel a sense of fulfillment.. Almost like pure bliss.. But the feeling didn't seem to last very long.. Soon, I begin to feel as if something much bigger is missing.. Somehow, I still don’t get contented.. I still feel empty..

Now I realize that you don’t need much to be happy.. All you have to do is look around and see the beautiful things, instead of searching for something you don’t possess.. I have a loving family.. true friends that stick like glue through good times and bad.. A bright future is waiting ahead.. There’s no need to rush.. Things will come in God’s own time..

Your Love Life Secrets Are

Looking back on your life, you will have a few true loves. You've been deeply wounded in the past, and you're still recovering from that hurt. You want to be with someone who's a success. A person with the right job, right family, right clothes... In fights, you speak your mind and don't hold back. You know you're right, and you can get quite angry about it. A break-up usually comes as a shock to you. You always think things are going well.

Your Love Life Secrets, Revealed

Moving Out

Still Water Runs Deep.....


Have you ever felt like running away? Have you ever experienced being caught up in a very difficult situation, you can't think of anything else to do but escape? Escape from all the complexities and obscurities.. Away from everything- go some place where you can only look forward to the future and decide never to return.. And finally finding yourself back from where everything started.

Whenever i'm in trouble and can't seem to find the right solution.. i always think of running away. When i was in law school, i had a hard time coping and adjusting so i decided to quit.. I was so afraid to fail so i left. When things go wrong at work, i resign.. look for a new job where i can start all over. In relationships, when i feel things are about to become ugly - I leave.. without even having to try to work things out.

That's how things are for me.. I hate facing difficulties. They're too complicated. I want simple. No twists and turns.. just plain simple. So when i decided to move out there were so many things that went on to my head. How am i going to pay the rent? Who will cook for me? Who will do the laundry? how am i going to get to my office everyday? What am i going to do every weekends? would there be television? aircon perhaps? How am i going to survive?

I burst into tears while thinking of these things. I realized how blessed i am for having such wonderful parents. I realized how sheltered i am and how much i should be grateful for having been provided of everything i needed and even more. I have become the person i am now because of them. And if only for these things.. I say thank you, ma & pa.

Friends

I first met my 3 best friends when i was in high school. we all went to saint paul and became classmates during our first year. We became inseparable ever since. They are the people i turn to especially when i almost feel like giving up. They're my sisters and allies for life.. My soulmates.. and my pillar of strength..

to pats, may and jo.. thanks for everything!! Love you all so much!

"Cara de Risa"

Pat's Creek, Boracay Island, Philippines

People say I'm the life of the party 'cause I tell a joke or two

Although I might be laughing loud and hearty deep inside I'm blue

So take a good look at my face you'll see my smile looks out of place

If you look closer, it's easy to trace The tracks of my tears..

(by Go West)

Cara De Risa.. a smiling face that I always wear - rain or shine.. That's who i am. A deceiving facade only a few people are aware of. My family.. and my closest, most intimate friends.. They are the ones who keep me in one piece.. steady and unbroken.. whatever trials i come across i just carry on with my most stunning smile. Without a single trace of agony. With God as my driving force and loved ones as my source of strength, i stand and pick myself up. I move on, start with a clean slate and never look back..